I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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