you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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