Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
