When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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