Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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