never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
