After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
