Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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