D3 body, D1 cock
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
