In the future we'll all be gay
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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