apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Panties = found
Randomize
