brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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