If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
