mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
