So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
