So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Randomize
