I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
