I could make wine with my vomit
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
