haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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