i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
