her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
