the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
