Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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