wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
