do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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