So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
