hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
