You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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