I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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