I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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