i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
