IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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