Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
