Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
either way he was missing a nipple.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
