you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
