you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
