Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
