I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
