you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
