Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
