I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
