hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
