Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
