ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
