that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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