No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
