Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
