i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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