You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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