What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
