I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
