1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
